Friday, December 30, 2011

book blog page

I am all over lately, helping here and there and getting things done, or at least try to. I just finish cooking dinner. Roast Pork, rice, mac salad and torillias, salsa etc.. Hispanic dinner. Half Mexican, and Half Puerto Rican. (I am 100% born Puerto Rican).
This is my book blog page. http://bookblogs.ning.com/profile/21g0ehji61i4l?saved=1
link is where you can see more...

XoXo Links to Authors

I  have many friends who are already published authors and it gives me pleasure to know them, and learn more about them. I support them when they want help in promoting their books. I will be adding Links so you can check them out and follow their journey as well.

http://aaronspeca.blogspot.com/         This is Aaron's blogspot link take a look. =)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Writing

Well today I am back writing on my book Candy Shop. I have Four chapters and need to add more. Have over 7k words. No where near done yet. I am going to write about me on how MS has affected me and my family and my life. Book is going to be called "HOPE". So look for it shortly. I may put it in smashwords.com/  not sure yet. Okay back to writing... or it will never get done...

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Day

Watching the clock till it hits Midnight to be officially Christmas...  Gee why do I torture myself, but I say and think I was good this year, and then I think back to when I was a child and when my 3 sons were little. I can still remember them opening presents and big smiles and grins and rush to play. That is one memory that does not get old. Tomorrow I will be in and out, but I will be writing and promoting. XOXO publishing still has all the ebooks for .99cents at midnight today 12/25 it will no longer be there. Grab what you can.12/26/11 it will end...
Yay it's 12am..... MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY!.www.xoxopublishing.com/

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas EVE 2011

Just got home a bit ago, went through my emails, and checked which were good, which were spam, I only keep what will not clutter my inbox and I delete my spam folder but I do peek to be safe. In all I came home nice and full from my brother in laws home and had fun with my family. Tomorrow will be another relatives home to drop off some presents, Santa came late, yet he didn't forget. I know tomorrow there are going to be so many young children watching the clock to open one present or all at midnight. Or they go to sleep faster they ever did in the whole year so they can wake up early to jump on your bed and say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" can we open our presents. And if you were up all night with family party you give in and say okay and you hear tiny feet stomp on the floor like horses and they greedy run to open the presents. And you hear them Ooo and Aww at what they got or you hear a ear curling scream of your child, you get up and go find out they were very happy they got what they wanted.... Gosh, I miss that when I was little. I almost gave my parents a heart attack, now the tradition was passed to my sons and now that they are older, no fun.... but I now get to do it with my granddaughter. lol
Merry Christmas to all and Have a great Night.
…....... /)
……... ( , )
….….|░░░|
……..|░░░|☆ Merry _(♥)_
…..@|░░░|¸.¤“˜¨Christmas.
.¨˜“¤|░░ഐ¤ª@“˜¨¨Happy
…¨˜“გª¤.¸::¸.¤ª☆“˜¨¨New Year.
…¤¸*¸.¤ª“˜@¨¨¨***2012****.
*♥*.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas and Safe Holidays!

Wanted to say to everyone who visits my site, and to my family and friends. "MERRY CHRISTMAS" and remember the real meaning of Christmas is about. Have a safe holiday weekend and keep those who are not with you a prayer to remember them, I miss my family who are all over the USA and I want them to know I do miss you and love you very much. I have been blessed to have my family this Christmas with me this year, not sure if I will have a complete family next year. Either way I am blessed.

Other note, I have been blessed to pass the limit of friends on my facebook. I get requests daily and I wish I could add them all. I do get a few that are ify... But over all I really enjoy talking to everyone. My publisher XoXo has been great in support of me and with my life. I am a college student and I will be graduating in July 2012 God willing I pass my classes. I am excited to write books and work aside with XoXo promoting other authors and promoting myself still. It is something I look forward to because gives me a purpose to get up and write and continue doing so. Takes my mind off of my MS. I really am blessed. Thank you everyone. I hope to have a better year in 2012!!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

XOXO CHRISTMAS DEAL .99cents!


It's our second birthday and we have presents and lots
of them. Beginning the 22nd of December and carrying on until midnight
Boxing Day, ALL of our books will be selling for just  $.99

 This is our way of saying thank you to our readers, our writers and to
 wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays." visit us at www.xoxopublishing.com/

Christmas Dinner.

I am currently cooking our Christmas Dinner early today. Since we will be over other family member's house Saturday. My husband and I wanted to have our own Christmas dinner since our son is home and he wasn't home for Thanksgiving, now we combine both today.. It will be nice to have all the boys together and enjoy our day today... and pig out... lol. Usually my husband cooks but this time, I am cooking. Have just about everything done.
Well too bad you all are far from me otherwise I would invite you to come over.
God bless.......... Happy holidays!...~~ANA TORRES~

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

If I, was to get something I would want this.

Something to keep me walking and healthy. Me and my hubby.
https://fb-215620.strutta.com/timeline


www.facebook.com
I thought you might be interested in this sweepstakes, Bowflex - Resolution Kick Starter Sweepstakes. Check it out!


Follow this young Author here is the link.

http://kristalmckerringtons.blogspot.com/2011/12/updates-from-me.html?zx=ec0670f2e39b9f7f

Her Books Kristal McKerrington's Books with many more to come.

POSTED BY KRISTAL MCKERRINGTON


Release Day Of A Different Life and Marie's Tales: I Just Want To Be Loved

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2011
Hello All Things Books Readers,


As promised I'm announcing that today is the Release Day of "A Different Life and Marie's Tales: I Just Want To Be Loved", very soon the book will be appearing on Amazon and will be making its first appearance on XoXo Publishing's site.


This is the first real debue of the wonderful twin Marie. The Bisexual twin that has alot to contend with. Not only is she a dancer, actress and model. Now she has to deal with an overly protective father and a Wrestler, going to great lengths to show her that he deserves just 'one date' with her. Things couldn't be hotter in this new series that will rival the hotness and the excitement of 'A Different Life'.


Are you ready to get to know the woman that make Layla the woman she is and to know the woman that this woman turns too? This series is the hottest and most fun I have had writing. With men losing clothes and her pranks reaching high levels. Hot steamy kissing scenes there is everything that you could possibly want out of this book.


Here is the Blurb and a page out of the book.


Blurb: "'After leaving America with Cameron, Marie set the ball rolling for Craig. A Wrestler and best friends of Will and Edward to get answers to why she has been wrapped up in Cameron as well as to why she hates Wrestlers. Craig decides he wants to unlock the truth of this fiery Street Hip Hop Dancer and actress, but what will happened when Craig locks horns with Marie?"
Out Today!


A random page from the book:

Reaching the bathroom, out the corner of my eye I saw one of Craig's many bedroom doors open and a hand pulled me into the room. It happened in a flash and I was caught off guard in a way that made me lose my breath. I felt the strength of the hand that was still wrapped around my forearm as fear splintered into my chest. I went to attack the stranger when my eyes adjusted and took in what was in front of me.
The bedroom was in semi-dark except for some candles that were light and littered about. It took my eyes a moment or two to completely adjust.
There standing with one of his hands in his pockets was Craig. He had let his black hair hang around his shoulders. His goatee had been neatly re-shaved, his bleached clawed jeans were skin tight over his legs and his black military like boots stuck out of them looking well-polished. His tight t-shirt had my saying on it and his muscle arms made it hard to concentrate on anything else. His abs showed through his t-shirt and I felt my body grow tense.
My heart started to beat fast as the power of a crush I had once had returned with its full force. I felt like that mid teenager girl staring at him and wanting to rip off that t-shirt he was wearing. I wanted to inspect him, wanted to know what he was really like in the flesh. I had always dreamed about being with him, this would be the time that I would find out. That pressure made my throat tight and dry.
It was hard to be about him, while working out in his gym. I had even asked Layla and Kathy to find out when he worked out there so I wouldn't walk into him. They had both scowled at me before they had agreed. They knew I wanted to spend very little time with Craig since he had such a reputation.
Kathy had agreed with me that it was wise that I remained at an arm’s length of a man that was just as ruthless with his women as he was in the ring. He had veteran's respect early on from his womanising ways and it always had an edge on the other boys in the locker room. He was a much loved man by the boys and hated beyond belief by the wives of the Wrestlers themselves.
Why are you avoiding me Marie?” His silk like voice whispered into the darkness and right away my heart leaped in response. Suddenly I felt myself heat up hoping that he couldn't see me blush, while trying to think of an ‘out’ plan. Why did he just have to so hot that my brain would refuse to work?
I'm here at your party, am I not?” I spluttered. I edged towards the door; his eyes watching me with a heated look that made me blush even more. I could feel the heat bellowing out of him like an open fire. I wasn't proud that this man could do this to me. Why couldn't my usual vibe put him off? Why couldn't my walls that I had up against Wrestler not put him off like it did most other men? Why did he have to want me of all people? Why did I have to know that there was a chance he wasn't like the reputation that was floating about him?
Yes you are. You forget I'm famous and people tell me things. I hear you’re working out in my gym, while I am not there. I wonder why that is? Why don't you want to get all hot and sticky with me? I don't bite, not unless I'm invited.” Craig moved over to me and pressed his hand on the door behind my head. He pinned me there; his lips just inches from mine. I felt my eyes go straight to them and I swallowed hard. “It seems like everyone is talking about you right now, about how you and your college boyfriend recently fell apart; about you and one of my boys, Jay. He's a boy Marie, I'm all man and I like nothing more than a good competition to win my girls over. I have to ask, is Jay or the college ex the reason why you’re burying yourself within Cameron's arms?”
I have been avoiding you, because of this. All you do is break hearts and cheat on those you have waiting for you at home. If I need any proof of that, then I just have to look to my sister's best friend!” A hint of venom ran through my voice. I was sick and tired of everyone judging me for what I had done. The look in his eyes told me nothing. There was a hint of surprise around the edges of his game face though.

Thank you for coming out and please check both Twitter and Facebook for the moment when the Link to the book becomes LIVE. For TWITTER or for the FACEBOOK announcement. I'll be back next week with another special blog for all of you. 

Kristal McKerrington

I had her permission to post this from the site she added this from:

though this was cute to share.

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.   Apparently, you can't go alone.   You have  to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito.   I hear no one  recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport;  you have to be driven there.   I have made several trips there,  thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump,  and I'm not  too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt.   That is a sad place to go,  and I try not to visit there too  often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting  older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!   It really gets the  adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!   At my age I need  all the stimuli I can get!

That’s my story and I am sticking with it! :o)

xmas cards.

I was late to send xmas cards to family and friends. I really didn't have the money to spend on gifts to anyone. I feel bad, but christmas is it really about gifts? For children I can understand for an adult it is priceless when you see your child open presents with excitement, waiting to see what they got. All I ever wanted was for my Sons to be together for the holidays and I got my present. They know my husband and I are unable to get gifts for them. I manage to sell some of my PS3 MOVE  games made it into a bundle and it sold in 2 days. I was happy. That caught me up on bills, that I didn't have enough to pay. Anyways my granddaughter I still have to get her something, I just made her a stocking stuffer , with a new outfit, child plate, hello kitty xmas stocking to hang up, a baby book, a baby cup, and child spoon and fork. She is getting so big on me. Will be 7 months. I really wanted to get her something but I know after christmas things will be better I pray and hope.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Blog tours and thanking the bloggers.

There are a lot of great blogs out there that are in the spirit of giving. And of course I  entered them as well, but you all should check them out and support these authors and the bloggers who worked so hard to keep information up to date. I know I am grateful for that. I am on my x-mas break from school and I have my son home from boot-camp but he will return to finish, and then off to school. It been so far really nice to see all 3 of my sons together and hanging out. Like he had never left. You don't really appreciate something when it is not there no more. So check out some of the future blog tours that will be going on. I grabbed some badges.


Friday, December 16, 2011

My Son is Home..=)

Well, my son is home for the holidays. He is telling us some stories and it was sad that someone did killed themselves. In the job he is in it's rough. It is tuff training since he is will be in front lines. I will always worry but I am proud of him.
 Welcome home Leo..<3 Mom.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Not my week at all.

Back to work. Meaning back to finish my books I had to put on hold because of stressing out from school Math. I see I am not the only person who hates math as I do. What I do get is this, they want you to know the basic math, that I get, yes you need that. But okay, when they want you taking classes in math that you have to figure out x+ y =z and throw in some icons of {x I } or [ ] so what is the deal, are you going to use it later in life? In certain jobs you may, but what I am going to school for I never hear of anyone using the algebra one or two. But hey that's me. I made a goal to finish school and my goal to be an author. So far everything is shining  the right way. Not sure about my math grades, but you know I am not going to worry about it. All it does is stresses me out and flares up my MS. That I don't need. So back to finish my "Candy Shop" and hopefully have it done and ready for edit soon. Just with everything having the flu, that wasn't good combo. When I get sick I get sick really bad sick. Worse then the regular flu most people get. My immune system is already fighting so my body is fighting twice more then the average person. But I fight back. Okay back to writing.~~~~~~~~=)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Chocolate for Me and You 

a bi monthly series starting in Feb 2012

Series editor is Brianna Martini and Penny Adams

Chocolate is everything in life...
Imagine ... delicious chocolate engulfing our senses, our mind, and body...Chocolate sensual love stories. 
Paint him with chocolate, 
drink chocolate 
it's everything and anything chocolate...

Full length novels and novellas only.
New and published authors are welcome. 
Advances plus standard royalties.
In house promotions and more. 

For submission guidelines please email Brianna at briannamartini@live.ca.Click here to edit.




























My Book Blurb for 2012



My Book soon to be out sometime next year 2012 here is a little bit about the story :



                     Savior in the Dark

     Sophia St.John thinks her life is dull and holds no excitement  at all. After her brief relationship with a man that was too demanding, she wanted to move on. He wanted his way, and never gave in to hers. It was always about him, and his Mother.

    One night changed her life forever. She was attacked going to work after leaving a local deli and was saved by an unknown person, who rescued her from being cut, by a local drug addict. His swiftness not only stunned the man out cold, but he also captured Sophia's heart, who wanted to know more about her hero. If there is anything such as karate love, Sophia heart yearned for it. With a newly found freedom in self-defense she was taught, she learned along the way what true love really is.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It is new and different~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ my beta-readers loved it so can't wait till it comes out. I keep you all in the know. I have another book coming.
"Bed Room Eyes" that one is a Paranormal romance story with I am doing a series of it. When you read it you will know why.  All I can say about that for  now.

Funny Stories About MS. But they are true.

Letter to Normal People..

Having Multiple Sclerosis means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand Multiple Sclerosis and its effects. Of the people who think they know, many are misinformed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand... these are the things I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...

Please understand that just because I have Multiple Sclerosis doesn't mean I am not still a human being. Some days I spend in extreme exhaustion. At times, sleeping for fourteen hours is all that will alleviate my symptoms. I get so tired. These emotions are all very strong and powerful. If you talk to me, and I might not seem like much fun to be with, remember I am still me. I am just stuck inside this body. I still worry about work, home life, my family and friends.


Please understand that Multiple Sclerosis is unpredictable. One day I may be able to do anything, while the next I may have trouble getting out of bed. Please don't attack me when I'm having a bad day by saying, "But you did it before!!" Please understand that sometimes being able to stand for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday, doesn't mean I will be able to do the same today. This disease gets more confusing.
Multiple Sclerosis isn't all in my head, and it isn't contagious. Nobody ever died from Multiple Sclerosis though they might have wished they could on really bad days. I can't control how often I feel good or how often I feel terrible. Multiple Sclerosis is a condition with lots of different kinds of symptoms. There is no cure for Multiple Sclerosis, and it won't go away. If I am functioning normally, I am having a good day. I can have good days, weeks or even months. But a good morning can suddenly turn into a terrible afternoon. I get a feeling like someone has pulled out a plug and all my energy has just run out of my body. I might get more irritable before these flare ups and suddenly become more sensitive mentally and physically. Other times there may be no warning. I may just suddenly feel awful. I can't warn you when this is going to happen because there isn't any way for me to know. Sometimes this is a real downer, and I'm sorry. If I seem touchy at times, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you understand. I have been and am still going through a lot. Multiple Sclerosis is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and mind. It is exhausting and I am doing my best to cope with this, and I live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me and accept me as I am. I know you cannot understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding.

Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy." When you have the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I have a condition that doesn't leave. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. Just because I sound good, doesn't mean I feel good. I make myself be happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in pain or extremely tired. It doesn't mean I am getting better or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding good!" or "Oh, you look good!" I am not sounding good, I am sounding happy. Because I feel bad at times, I am always pushing myself, and sometimes I push myself too hard. When I do this, I normally pay the price. Emotionally and physically I pay a big price for overdoing it, but sometimes I have to. I have no choice. My limitations, like my pain and my other symptoms are invisible, but they are there.

With Multiple Sclerosis, myelin, which is the covering that protects your nerves, deteriorates. Look at it as your nerves being an electrical wire, and wires have protective covering. If the covering is removed, the wire gets a short in it. This is the case with Multiple Sclerosis patients. Your nerves are a wire. The myelin can replace itself, but during the time it has deteriorated and the nerve is exposed, damage is done to the nerves in my body and this damage is not reversible. Thus, causing numbness, pain, tingling and other feelings.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. I appreciate the thought. It's not because I don't want to get well. If there were a cure, all people with Multiple Sclerosis would know about it. Telling me I need to exercise more or that I just need to lose weight may frustrate me to tears and it is not correct. I work with a doctor and he tells me what to do for my condition.

In so many ways I may depend on you...people who are not sick. I may need you to call and check on me. I might need you to help me do things every now and then. You are my link to "normalcy" of life since I will never be normal again until a cure is found. As much as it's possible, I need you to understand me.

People with Multiple Sclerosis have different kinds of pains and feelings that are hard to treat. It is not a constant ache in one place like a broken bone. It moves around my body daily and hourly and changes in severity and type. Sometimes it is jabbing and excruciating. Sometimes it is prickly or numb. At times it feels as though electrical shocks are going through the extremities of my body.

Another symptom I have is problems with memory and concentration. This one is very scary. I may tell you something, and thirty minutes later tell you the same thing. Please don't say, "You already told me that." I also might be trying to tell you something and use a wrong word instead of the word I should have used. This is very embarrassing and aggravating, but normal for people with Multiple Sclerosis. It is a very frightening symptom.

All these symptoms and the chemicals in my brain can get me depressed as you would imagine. I get angry, frustrated and I have mood swings. Sometimes it may seem I am being unreasonable, but I can't admit it. I know this is a very hard thing about being with me. Every time you put up with me when I am in one of my moods, I am secretly grateful. I can't always admit it at the time, but I am admitting it now.

I know I asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~When We Say We Can't do Something Because We don't Feel Well, Put yourself in Our Shoes By Using The Examples of our Symptoms Below...

 What living with MS feels like:

Painful Heavy Legs: Apply Tightly 20 LB ankle weights and 15 LB thigh weights then take a 1 mile walk, clean the house, go shopping and then sit down - how ya' feeling now?

Painful Feet: Put equal or unequal amounts of small pebbles in each shoe then take a walk, if we are mad at you we would prefer needles to pebbles.

Loss of Feeling in Hands and/or Arms
: Put on extra thick gloves and a heavy coat then try and pick up a pencil, if successful stab yourself in the arm.

Loss of Feeling in Feet and/or Legs: Ask a doc for a shot of novocaine in both of your legs and then try and stand up and walk without looking like the town drunk. Hopefully you won't fall down.

- TN (Trigeminal Neuralgia):
 Take an ice pick and jam it into your ear or cheek whenever the wind blows on it, or a stray hair touches it. If you want something easier to do, get someone to punch you in the jaw preferably daily.

Uncontrollable Itching: Glue or sew small steel wool pads to the inside of your shirt, pants and undergarments wear them for an entire day.

Tingling: Stick your finger in an electrical socket - preferably wet.

Tight Banded Feeling: Put 12 inch wide belt around you and make is as tight as you can and leave it there for the entire day. How ya' breathing?

- Shots: Fill one of our spare needles with saline solution, saline won't hurt you, we would love something worse but don't want to end up in jail. Give yourself a shot everytime we do our shot.

Side Effects From the Shot: Bang you head against a wall, wrap yourself in a heating pad, wrap your entire body with an ace bandage tightly then finally treat yourself to some spoiled food or drink.

Trouble Lifting Arms: Apply 20 LB wrist weights and try and reach for something on the highest shelf in your house.

- Spasticity: Hook bungee cords to your rear belt loops and rear pant leg cuffs then for your arms hook bungee cords to your shirt collar and cuffs on shirt sleeves then go dancing.

Poor Hearing/Buzzing in Ears: Put a bee in each ear and then put a plug in each one...Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Balance and Walking Problems: Drink 100 proof grain alcohol and then sit and spin in an office chair for 30 minutes, now get up and see what happens.

Urgently Needing to Pee: We put a .5 liter remote controlled water bag and drip tube in your pants, we point out 2 restrooms in a crowded mall, then we tell you that you have 30 seconds before we activate the water bag (by remote control) to get to a restroom. Just for spite we may make that 20 seconds without telling you.

-Bizarre and Inexplicable Sensations: Place tiny spiders on your legs or arms and allow them to periodically crawl around throughout the day, heck all day would be good too.

Pins and Needles: Stab yourself repeatedly with needles all over your body or better yet....Get a very large tattoo in your most sensative area.

Dizziness (Vertigo): Get on a gently rocking boat all day and all night and take several walks around the deck with your eyes closed.

- Fatigue: Stay awake for two full days to induce incredible fatigue and then cook dinner, clean the house, walk the dog and see how you feel. Please do not compare MS fatigue to you being tired from only a few hours of sleep - it's not the
same at all.

Cognitive Function (Brain Fog): Take a liberal dose of sleeping pills but stay awake. Try and function properly and think clearly. To make it even more real without killing yourself of course, take the sleeping pills with a small sip of wine.

Bowel Problems: Take a 4 day dose of an anti-diarrhea medicine followed directly by a 3 day dose of stool softeners for a minimum of 3 weeks, at the end of 3 weeks sit down on a hard uncushioned chair and stay there
till tears appeared.


Burning Feeling: Make a full pot of boiling water and then have someone fill a squirt gun with the boiling water and shoot it at yourself all day long. However, you can give us the pleasure of shooting you instead...optional of course.

Intention Tremor: Hook your body to some type of vibrating machine try and move your legs and arms.....hmmm are you feeling a little shaky? You are not allowed to use anything fun for this lesson.

Buzzing Feeling When Bending Our Heads to Our Chest (L'Hermitte's): Place an electrical wire on your back and run it all the way down to your feet, then pour water on it and plug it in.

Vision Problems (Optic Neuritis): Smear vaseline on glasses and then wear them to read the newspaper.

Memory Issues: Have someone make a list of items to shop for and when you come back that person adds two things to the list and then they ask why you didn't get them. When you come back from shopping again they take the list and
erase three things and ask why you bought those things.

Foot Drop: Wear one swim fin and take about a 1/2 mile walk, nothing else needs to be said for this one, you'll get it.

Depression: Take a trip to the animal shelter everyday and see all the lonely animals with no home. You get attached to one or more of the animals and when you come back the next day you come in while they are putting her/him asleep.

- Fear: Dream that you have lost complete feeling in your feet and when you wake up wiggle your feet, just so happens they don't move. Think about this every night wondering whether something on your body won't work the next day when you wake up.

Swallowing: Try swallowing the hottest chili pepper you can find.

Heat Intolerance or Feeling Hot When it's Really Not: You are on a nice vacation to Alaska. It's 35° outside and 65° inside. Light a fire for the fireplace and then get into it. Once you have reached about 110° tell me how you feel, even a person without MS would feel bad, now add all of the above symptoms

- welcome to our world.

Then Finally...

After subjecting yourself to the items above, let everyone tell you that you are just under a lot of stress, it's all in your head and that some exercise and counseling is the answer.


The REAL Causes of MS

"Perhaps MS is caused by the monsters that hide under the bed, in the closet and behind the curtains of kids' bedrooms. Make sure you shoo the monsters away or your kids might get it!"

"I heard that people who can not touch their ears with their tongue are at a bigger risk of getting MS."

"I think MS is caused by the rays that come from electric garage door openers."

"I wondered if I got MS through eating obscene amounts of chocolate ice cream."

"I think my MS was caused by watching 'The Waltons' as a deeply confused teen and fancying Sue Ellen."

"I know that I have MS because my Mom used to spank me with a wooden spoon when I was a kid and damaged the nerves until they got inflamed!"

"I'm certain I can trace my MS back to the time my sister left a frog in my bed."

"I think MS is caused by dandruff. Dandruff is caused by bubonic plague. Plague was caused by bad art in the 13th century and dirt under one's fingernails..."

"I heard that MS can be caused by not having one's dreams interpreted in a timely manner."

"I thought it was because we didn't wash behind our ears when we were little like our mothers told us to... but then I thought that if that was the case, there would be millions more people with MS. How many kids do you know that didn't wash behind their ears? I know two in my household!!"

"In my case, I believe MS was caused by listening to Howard Stern under a blanket in bed at night via a small ipod pressed tight against my ear."

"I think I read somewhere that scientists have indicated that MS is almost conclusively, very probably, highly likely and with hardly any doubt, caused by having spent one's past life as a squid. Or possibly something else, perhaps a crustacean of some kind, or not, but definitely something rubbery, jelly-like or even squishy, according to abundant, or at least substantial, extremely convincing evidence. Of sorts."

"I'm think my MS started after I got drunk and bounced on that bloody inflatable castle over the weekend (it's Wednesday and I'm still drunk.)"

"I'd always through that MS is a result of alien abduction (coincidentally these are the same aliens that are responsible for crop circles, the pyramids and the many sightings of Elvis). Those of us with the illness were abducted by aliens and put through a series of tests and studies (wait, no, that actually was the diagnostic process!!)."

"I've often wondered if I have MS because all I wished for when I blew out the birthday cake candles was a nice husband, and not a good health!"

"I think MS is caused by getting too many skinned knees and elbows as kids (as in 'multiple scars')."

"I'm sure MS is caused by having an orange/blue disabled badge. The proof is that most folk with MS have a disabled badge therefore it must cause MS QED (well at least if you're a neuro)."

"I reckon sitting on the floor while hovering is the root cause of MS."

"I think my MS was caused by nicking the turkish delight candy from any box of mixed chocolates I was given - or, for that matter, any box belonging to anybody else! Or did this greedy onslaught just make me fat?"

"I'm pretty sure MS is linked to ironing. I only did it once too, clearly providing utterly irrefutable research-based evidence that once one starts ironing, stopping is high risk even if the first high risk unprotected exposure doesn't produce immediate symptoms! Needless to say, my mother irons for all comers, having been fully convinced of the need to do so through an extended 26 year clinical trial."

"My spouse thinks its because those of us who have MS stubbed our second left toe on a rusty nail when we were 9 years old."

"I've convinced myself that my MS could have been caused by swallowing chewing gum when I was a kid." "In actual fact MS is caused by an excess of intelligence genes which threaten those who claim to be higher powers (eg neurologists?!)."

"I think MS is caused by doing daily household chores. This is why more women than men get MS."

"I think MS was caused by overly punitive toilet-training methods by mothers nationwide pre Dr. Spock."

"Maybe MS is caused by childhood pets with shells?"

"I heard that MS can be caused by failure to floss after each and every meal ('plaque' causing 'plaques')."

"Hairspray. When I first had optic neuritis I was asked by the Ophthalmologist if I use hairspray."

"I'll bet MS is caused by scooping the cat litter."

"I heard men were less susceptible to MS if they left the toilet seat up. I guess that's why so many of them do it..."

"Isn't MS caused by squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle?"

"I always thought MS was caused by standing on the cracks in the paving stones! Remember 'Stand on a crack, break your mother's back'? I bet we had it wrong. It should have been 'Stand on a crack, gain another plaque!'"

"You are all wrong! Even my wife has got it wrong. She thinks that it was caused by walking on the cracks in the pavement when I was a child. I didn't do that so it must be caused by NOT walking on the cracks in the pavement when I was a boy!"

"It's my suspicion that MS is caused by not eating your Alphabet Spaghetti in alphabetical order."

"It's often concerned me that MS might be caused by wearing your socks on the wrong feet."

"To my knowledge MS is caused by microbes implanted by an alien intelligence that will eventually take over the earth. Those of us with the illness already are the ones who are considered to be the biggest threat to the alien force, hence we got it first."

"I think MS is caused by being forced as children to make our beds and tidy our rooms. If we had been allowed to be messy we would be fine now."

"Perhaps there is some connection between MS and slurping your soup while watching 'The Playboy Channel'."

"I read that MS came about after a passing comet sprayed us with an alien virus."

"If I'd never gone near a neurologist, I'd never have been diagnosed with MS!"

"I've thought hard about this, and wonder if MS is due to us not having our television satellie dish in the right position. Maybe we are picking up the wrong signals. You never know, do you?"

My Number One Favorite Cause: Lack of quality beer nuts when I visit the neighborhood bar on the corner!